Combine cabbage, carrot, and onion in large bowl. Sprinkle with sugar and salt, toss to combine
Let stand 5 minutes, then rinse thoroughly under cold running water, then drain
Add cilantro and jalapeños
Whisk together dressing ingredients: mayonnaise, milk, lime juice, sugar, salt, and pepper
Add dressing to slaw and toss well to coat
Cover and chill at least one hour, overnight preferred
Notes
Got the recipe from a neighbor in Oakland - it’s my favorite coleslaw I’ve ever had. Pretty spicy & flavorful, and generally lighter on mayo than most coleslaws.